Angel of Mine
by keroseneskies
Summary: Many years after his departure from Heaven, Castiel finally finds peace. Even though it's not as perfect, it's peace worth fighting for. He cares after a celestial who once saved him. She's not exactly what Castiel remembers of her anymore, but it doesn't matter. In his pain and confusion, he finds love. But then again, what is love for an angel?


They used to come to this place before. Castiel remembered the first time she took him here. A lovely getaway spot for fallen angels, with swaying thin trees, a quiet waterfall and a shallow pond beneath it. She used to swim in there, while he explored surrounding area. It pained him how much things changed from that day. He missed how slowly she walked through the forest on a path that wasn't visible, yet she always knew where it was. He missed following her like a child afraid to get lost even if he couldn't. But as much as he missed that first day there were no words to express how much he missed her laughter. That inner giggle she produced when he said something silly. His questions were rather funny back in the day. He learned so much, however.

Castiel held her hand in his as they walked through the forest. He had to slow down soon, because Valeria was a little hesitant. She was afraid for a reason, of course, they were never that far away from their covert. Yet her curiosity encouraged following Cas through the woods. Wind played between tiny leaves and branches as it ran across the forest in a soft dance. It was much warmer than mornings usually were around these places and Castiel took that in concern as Valeria felt things greater than him. It sometimes bugged him, her sensitivity, need to rest and warmth, when he didn't find those things necessary himself. But he did enjoy her presence, he loved to wrap his arms around her tiny body and make her feel safe. And it wasn't because he owed her, after all the time she looked after him, he didn't feel obligated to help her just because she helped him. He wanted to take care of her, make her feel better, he grew fond of that brave celestial that saved him and deep inside he wanted her back. And even if both of these women bore the same name of Valeria, they were not the same. But Cas didn't care, to him they were one, even though he loved the one that showed him how to do so. Pity, she never had a chance to feel his love before it was too late. Valeria became a tormented little thing but Castiel never lost hope, even after decades, that she would get better and one day he would have his savior back.

When they arrived by the shore sun was hiding behind light clouds in the sky. Wind was calm and weather was nice, but the lack of trees that served as a cover made Valeria anxious. Trying to calm her down, Castiel stopped and turned to face her, assuring look in his eyes. He put his hands on her shoulders, rubbing them slightly, smiling in attempt to erase the shadow of fear in Val's face. She looked like that every evening, when sun was setting down and it got darker. The lack of light brought fear to her heart and through time Castiel learnt why darkness brought such terror. Valeria couldn't see him clearly at night and that frightened her. She always panicked if he wasn't present when she woke up. Her lip trembled as tears rolled down her face when he wasn't around. Valeria was so dependent, Cas couldn't possibly think of actions she would take if he left her. He never planned to do so as his dependence was almost as strong as hers. And so he promised himself to take care of her and make her safe and as happy as such deranged tiny thing could be.

Cas led her closer to the water and Val followed him with curiosity rising in her heart. As if she remembered her past, the excitement filled her complicated mind and for a moment she felt much braver than ever before. Water, however, was colder than Castiel had expected and it was unpleasant to touch. He could only imagine how cold it would seem to her. And as she leaned and repeated his actions by dipping her hand in water, he inspected her reaction. At first Valeria withdrew her hand, as it felt unusual from what she had experienced while bathing in a warm tub with Cas and an old rubber duck she'd found in a pile of rubbish. But then Val tried again, burying her hand deeper till she could feel soft sand at the bottom with her fingertips. A sound of silent giggle reached Castiel's ears and his heart suddenly rushed its pace. That lovely noise tickled a memory, an echo from the past that was dear to him. Her laughter. Not quite the same as years ago, but still, it was hers and that was enough to make Cas happy.

Just before Castiel could even notice, Valeria leapt into the water, fully clothed, without even giving him enough time to grab her hand or at least a foot. Parts of her white dress still tried to keep their privileged space on the surface, but even her tiniest body weight dragged them down to an unpleasant demise. Good thing dresses couldn't die, unfortunately, girls could. And even if Castiel wasn't too sure if Valeria could die by simply drowning, he wasn't up to test that theory. His hands were soon wrapped around her waist and without a struggle Cas dragged her up from water.

"Careful" he warned, moving her silvery hair off her wet face with his fingers. "Are you alright?" Castiel inquired. He didn't expect to hear an answer, so he watched her face closely. Valeria never spoke after her stay in Heaven. Not a single word, if you didn't take her attempts that resulted in frustrated whines into account. She found it extremely hard to express her thoughts and feelings and that upset her greatly, because Castiel was sure she understood if not everything, then many things. She just couldn't respond in a clear manner, but Cas learnt to understand her.

Valeria answered to Castiel's question by wrapping her limp arms around his neck, pressing her body hard against his. It was a kind of beg, he could read, she wanted him to calm her and so Cas did by nestling her in his arms. It was pretty nice to be held like that and his vessel produced just enough warmth to keep her from shaking. Just one thing irritated Valeria; she didn't like how clothes got in their way, floating around freely, sticking to her arms and back. It was probably a habit, both in her past and for last couple of decades, Val preferred bathing naked.

Castiel's old trench coat was the first one to go. It drifted down quickly to the bottom and soon there was no trace of the tan fabric at all. When buttons didn't obey and slipped between Valeria's fingers, she couldn't hold it anymore and seconds later her tiny body plunged closer, lips pressed hard against his. The kiss was sloppy, wet and quite messy, nothing like those couple passionate yet restrained kisses Castiel received from Valeria long ago. And it made sense that a couple hundred years of practice were erased and she had to learn from the very beginning. But in her state of mind, the process of learning was a difficult thing to do. Even the littlest of things hardly found their way into her mind, perhaps that's why she resided to things that made her happy. Bathing, drawing and being with Castiel were top three things on her priority list. Of course, activities Valeria could get involved with Cas were plenty, but she favored very particular ones. Once Val saw it on television and that day Castiel learned that he wouldn't need to teach her about making out or explaining anything about sex. Or at least he thought so. From what she understood it was something fun to do, so, apparently, the idea of trying it with Cas was totally ok in her books. Even though it seemed a little strange at first, he didn't stop her, for he didn't have the strength to resist her. And after that it was something they'd do from time to time, it pleased both of them and so made Valeria happy. And again, she did deserve to be happy after all the horrible things Heaven's Head Bitch in Charge put her through.

Getting undressed in water is not as easy as it may appear to be. Clothes become sticky and unwilling to cooperate with the removal process. But with some motivation and assistance from quick hands layers of fabric soon unfold and swim away freely. Castiel didn't waste his time anymore, especially when Valeria already had her legs wrapped around his hips and arms around his shoulders, and with some adjustments here and there, started moving inside her. His rhythm was steady and tame, exactly how Valeria liked. It brought silent, shivery moans right out of her mouth and pale bony fingers dug deeper into Castiel's skin. Val kissed him again, this time a thrill caused by the contrast of cold water and warm body rushed through her. It was a bit weird how good it felt to lean against Castiel and feel the hotness of his flesh when water around gave her chills. Valeria's voice grew louder as Castiel rocked his hips harder and it felt so good when he leaned closer and their lips entwined into a passionate kiss. She gasped for air overwhelmed by all the hotness, lust and ease which filled her inside all at once. Her fingers sank into his shoulders and her whole body shook when Castiel tightened his grip around her waist. It was almost painful, but he was quick enough to loosen his arms. Cas would sometimes forget, especially at such moments like those, how powerful he truly is and that he could snap Val's body in half if he ever wished. Castiel always must keep that in mind, simply because he doesn't want to hurt Valeria. He must be concentrated and in control, but when she is so soft and mellow in his arms, giving herself to him, he just loses it and forgets what is so important. But he always gets back in control moments after losing it, even though it usually ruins the moment of pure pleasure for him.

Valeria hid her face, her hands still attached to Castiel's shoulders. No, she didn't want to let him go, not just yet. It was obvious that they'd be cold the moment they parted. Cas knew that and it was the main reason why he lifted Val and got them both out of water. He noticed his coat floating at the coast, but got distracted by Valeria's expression. At first he couldn't see her face as she hid it, but now it was clear and visible. Val stared at him oddly, however there was a smile on her face, she looked a little bit wicked and that made Cas wonder what's in her mind. Once Valeria stood on her feet, she ran back to water, but much to Castiel's surprise, not to splash around, but to retrieve his lost trench coat. She ran to him with wet piece of clothing in her hands and a happy grin on her face, throwing it on his head and thus returning coat to its original owner. Castiel shook his head and laughed, then put the coat over his shoulders even though it felt unpleasant.

It was a little chilly when wind decided to blow harder and summon rainclouds right above the pond. Castiel thought about trying to find their lost clothing in water, but there was not enough time – he had to keep Valeria warm. While he tried to think of a way how to dress her, Val sat on grass naked, her arms around her knees, rocking impatiently. It was stressful of course when he was able to just teleport them both, but couldn't, just because he had no idea how Valeria would react to the fact that Castiel is an angel. Of course, she knew that before her year in Heaven, but afterwards her mind was left in ruins and Cas was sure that she is afraid of every single winged bastard. He didn't want to scare her and even the thought that Val might hate him tore his heart to pieces. But he had to keep her away from feeling bad, he had to protect her from all the odds and that forced to use his powers. Castiel just had to make sure she doesn't notice. Unfortunately, with curiosity Valeria was driven by, things rarely slipped her sight, so Cas had to be extra cautious.

Castiel picked her off the ground and wrapped his arms around her body. "Close your eyes." he requested, looking directly into Valeria's eyes. She didn't understood him clearly, why she should do such thing. "Please, it's important." Cas stroked her hair and smiled. The confusion was gone and Val did as asked, closing her eyes. In a mere second they were back at home. Valeria opened her eyes as everything suddenly felt different. She was surprised, her eyes a little scared, mouth open like it was ready to produce a question. Valeria would sometimes look like that, her mouth agape, almost speaking, asking, but never producing a word. It always frustrated her how she couldn't speak what she wished so much. Castiel couldn't even imagine how many things she wanted to share with him, speak about, tell him how bad she feels, what she's been through. He had no idea how painful it was to keep everything inside not being able to let it all out. He tried to, but no avail. It couldn't help Val in any way.

Castiel's heart froze when Valeria stepped back. What if she realized who he really is? A part of a kind which put her through so much pain it destroyed her mind and left her so deranged she lied motionless for years? What if she loathed him now? He could never forgive himself for that. Val suddenly turned her head to side, facing the room where her paint and crayons were scattered around and her face changed. She produced some sort of squeal and ran to her favorite spot, grabbing her favorite crayon she started to draw abstract figures. Everything was fine, Castiel was relieved and went upstairs to get something for Valeria to put on.


End file.
